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Splurge Dobuy has a strikingly original design, comprising 10,000 apartments stacked on top of each added in a seemingly amaranthine upward and certainly not bottomward spiral, each one progressively smaller and more expensive than the last. With boutiques, bars, restaurants and hotels on the lower and average levels, lower middle-class residents need never go outside.

A Red Hand of Ulster floor-plan spreads the load out to the tips of each finger, known in the barter as “long-fingering”. Constructing the Splurge activated engineering technology to the limit, as illustrated in our exciting infographic (  ). The main tower rests on the back of the hand, known in the architecture barter as a “back-hander”. The foundations are piled down beneath the palm, known in the architecture barter as “palming off”.

Due to Belfast’s climate, aggregate was constantly but actual slowly changing and had to be fitted to extremely bound intolerances. Putting all this together beside the freezing swamps of Belfast Lough also activated animal ingenuity to the limit (  ). The Splurge contains abundant glass to cover a tennis court the size of Wales, abundant columns to fill a double-decker bus with Nelsons and abundant girders to girdle the girth of the Earth.

Another different feature of Northern Ireland’s financial system is that anyone who misses a payment to Al Macker can have a limb removed, which should have greatly reassured any nervous investors. The project was developed by Al Macker Alan MacAlan, known to his loyal subjects quite simply as “the Suntan”. Under Northern Ireland’s different financial system he does not have to declare the source of his income, but it is no secret that the whole region floats on a lake of black taxis.

The only sour notes likely to be heard at the opening ceremony could come from environmentalists and animal rights groups, who might take the befalling to have a good whinge because they know the world’s media will be watching (  ).

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